Sunday, March 8, 2009

Wouldn't you just love to know...

...that if you were to call the fire department, that they'd be able to find your home quickly and without any problems?  I sure would, trouble is, I know that's just not feasible here!

I live in a small town of about 6500 people, with the town itself measuring out to approximately 1.5 square miles. You would think it would be rather difficult to get lost here, what with numbered streets running north and south and named streets going east and west, granted there are a few exceptions to the named streets, with a couple of them running north and south as well.  

Our firedepartment consists of a paid chief who also has a real full time job and roughly 35 volunteers, also all having real jobs outside of being on call 24/7.  Irregardless of the fact that they all work outside of the firedepartment, you would think that the chief at the very least would need to know what streets were where and how to get to the different appartments, homes, row-houses, etc.  Well, he doesn't!  I doubt he's ever studied a map of this town!

Imagine my surprise just a few short months ago.  Silv was here and we were both goofing around on our computers and trying to decide what we wanted to do for supper,  Munchkin (my kid) was at the kitchen table working on some homework.  The dogs started going nuts and I heard someone on the front deck.  Sure enough, when I got up to look, I saw the firechief and one of his croonies on my deck and the first response truck in the parking lot.  I opened the door and asked if I could help them.  The first thing the chief said to me was, "Did you know your doorbell's not working?"  I replied in my typical smartass fashion, "Yeah," says I, "That would be why I have this sign on my door saying 'Doorbell disconnected, Please knock'.".

"Oh," says he, "Well, I was wondering if this is #7-***  ****** Avenue" say's he. "No, it's #7-*** ****** Lane" I reply.

"So, you don't have a fire here?"

"Not that I'm aware of, why?"

"We got a call saying there's a fire at this address"

"Well, it wouldn't be this address if you're looking for #7-*** ****** Ave now would it?"

"No, I suppose it wouldn't be.  You wouldn't happen to know where that address is, would you?"

Ok, the firechief is asking me directions for a street that runs north and south, not named even remotely similiar to the street that I live on which runs east and west.  I looked at him totally confused, like really, I'm supposed to know which apartment building is which?  Isn't that his job?  So I pointed out to him that there are 2 apartment buildings north either of which he could be looking for, or perhaps it's any one of the 3 south of where we were, but seeing as I didn't know anybody living in any one of those apartment complexes, I really couldn't help him much.  I asked him if he knew if he were looking for apartments or row-housing, because that would narrow down his search somewhat.  He said a second floor apartment.  I'm wondering at this point just why exactly he thought that my row-house which has a basement, mainfloor and upstairs would be a second floor apartment.

By now, you can just imagine how confused I am, first off, I get confused easily by people who are not exactly smart. Secondly, I get confused by the fact that government officials would hire such stupid people to keep the community safe. *Insert forhead slap here* DOH! Obviously what I was thinking was an oxy moron!  Government officials are stupid themselves, they wouldn't recognize the stupidity of others, how dumb can I be sometimes!?!

With my confusion somewhat cleared up, I sent the chief on his way.  What else could I do?  I didn't know where the place was that he was looking for, sheesh.  As he turns to walk away, I hear a call come in on his radio. "Chief, where are ya at?  We're at the apartment, nothing serious, just a burnt supper in the oven!"

I closed my door and started to laugh. I laughed so hard that I had tears streaming down my face.  Silv of course asked what that was all about, seeing as he was inside the whole time, while I had carried out this conversation out on my deck.

Wiping tears from my eyes I looked over at Silv, and said "Pray you never have to call the firedepartment!  If they can't find an apartment here in town, there's no way they'll ever be able to find your place out in the country!"


  1. Wow. I mean, WOW.

    That's all I have to say about that. Un-frickin-believable.

  2. You're telling me Brazen!

    I've been talking to a few of my neighbors as well as other's and I've been getting a few stories about the cops in this town. I wonder if anyone else around here has any interesting stories about the fire department?

    Or for that matter, if anyone else in the world of blogs does! Police, Fire department, Ambulance, any of the emergency response people. I'd be interested to hear them all!

  3. skye, I am speechless.

    So the apartment that did have the fire, did they ever get there?

  4. First off I hope you never actually need the fire department.

    I love that the chief stood their and asked directions from you. If the fire was real the home would be long gone by the time they arrived!!

    Our town is about the same size, and all volunteers as well. I have never questioned if they knew where they are going. Now you have me thinking!!

  5. Whoever was manning the pumper truck was at the proper apartment, Penny. But Dayum, this is rather freeky!

  6. Welcome to my blogger home Pam, thanks for the comments!

    To be honest, I'm glad this made you think, more people need to. Especially about things like this, I just assumed that the firedepartment would know where to go, should I have had need to call them, but this proves me wrong.

    Now, I'm totally prepared in case there's an emergency. I have directions written down by my phone, so that if my daughter has to call them due to some unforseen accident on my part, she can let them know exactly how to get here from where they are. All she'd have to do is read it out to them. It's incredibly sad to need such a thing, but apparently it is a necessity!


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