I don't get pulled over or have too many run-in's with the cops, but last summer, I did indeed have a little fun with a couple of them!
It was the end of summer holidays, the last weekend of August. The town was putting on it's summer festival and things were rather nuts. At the time I was the breakfast cook for a hotel restaurant, so because of all the extra people and festivities, I had to start work 1.5 hours earlier in the day than normal.
Here I am, groggily on my way to work at 4:15 in the blessed a.m. when I see a cruiser car start to follow me half a block from my home. About 5 blocks later another cruiser joins the first one. That's when he flashes his lights and gives his noise maker a short go. What do I do? Well the responsible thing of course, I pulled over! Cop from cruiser #1 comes over and asks for my driver's and registration, which I hand over ever so politely. He then asks me "So, what are you doing on the road this fine evening?" I look over to him with a rather dazed expression, I'm sure. Fine evening? It's morning, geez! So I say's to this brilliant fine upstanding young man "It's morning, not evening and I'm on my way to work."
"Yes, well, I'm just finishing my shift, so to me it's still evening, or if you will, night. It won't be morning for me for several hours yet." he say's to me. Yeah, I can understand that, sort of. Doesn't mean you have to show your stupidity by refusing to acknowledge the time of day! Continuing, he say's to me, "Well, there is no business open at this time of day, so where are you going?"
Like, really, how dumb can ya get? "I'm on my way to work, just like I told you, I work in the hotel right across the street. I was in the process of parking when you pulled me over!" I lower my gaze just enough so I can roll my eyes without him noticing.
Cop from cruiser #2 comes over. "Got a problem here?" Cop #1 says "She's not being overly cooperative answering my questions, but not much of a problem." Really people, I did answer his questions, and I still don't know why I had been pulled over!
Cop #1 tells Cop #2 all that had been discussed up to that point. When he's done, I politely interupt saying "Excuse me, but I will be late for work if we don't finish up here soon, can you at least tell me why you pulled me over?" #1 says " First I would like to know how you expect to get into a locked hotel" Where's a video camera when you need one? This should be on Candid Camera or something! "Well officer," says I, "I suppose I would have to use my keys for the building." No reply, no comment, nada, zip, zilch for that comeback of mine.
"Well, do you realize that before I flashed my lights at you, you were going a little less than 40 in a 50 zone?" Oh geez, I was slowing down to park, no I hadn't realized! (That's what I should have said, but in fact I said) "Yes, sir, like I told you, I was about to park when you pulled me over. I was slowing down so that I could!" "Don't get wise with him Miss" Say's #2, that was being wise, and my previous comment wasn't? Now I rolled my eyes for them to see it, but both missed it, go figure!
#1 was a little pink at this point, "You also failed to use your blinker at your last turn, I do believe that it's not working." "Well officer, being the weekend, there are no repair shops open. I'll get it looked at as soon as I'm able on Monday, will that be ok?" "That will be fine, consider this a warning though, and I'll check to see that it's been done!"
"Are you done with me then? I can get in to work now, right?" "Yes miss," says #1 "That'll be fine." "One more thing first though officer, do you think I could have my drivers and registration back please? I'd hate to be pulled over on my way home and not be able to supply those!" "Oh, yes, yes, I forgot, here!"
With my possessions returned to me, I walk to the hotel, and unlock the door. As I was walking in, #2 started saying something, but it was lost in my re-locking of the door once I was inside. I saw him coming towards the hotel, but I ignored him and went to the restaurant door and unlocked it, went in and relocked it. I heard him bang on the hotel door to get my attention, but I figured that I'd had enough of these clowns and I had been delayed long enough. I did have work to do after all, so instead of going back outside, I turned on the griddles, got out the bacon, sausages and hashbrowns that needed preping, got out the ingredients I needed to make pancakes and set to work. I never did get my taillights checked, nor did I ever hear from either of those cops again.
I failed to mention that although #1 had taken my drivers and registration, he hadn't written down a thing. Not a bit of the information he needed in order to check up on me had been written down, that's probably why #2 had followed me to the hotel and had been trying to get my attention!