Wednesday, March 4, 2009

More on the Stupidty of the Local Cops

I don't get pulled over or have too many run-in's with the cops, but last summer, I did indeed have a little fun with a couple of them!

It was the end of summer holidays, the last weekend of August.  The town was putting on it's summer festival and things were rather nuts.  At the time I was the breakfast cook for a hotel restaurant, so because of all the extra people and festivities, I had to start work 1.5 hours earlier in the day than normal.

Here I am, groggily on my way to work at 4:15 in the blessed a.m. when I see a cruiser car start to follow me half a block from my home.  About 5 blocks later another cruiser joins the first one.  That's when he flashes his lights and gives his noise maker a short go.  What do I do?  Well the responsible thing of course, I pulled over!  Cop from cruiser #1 comes over and asks for my driver's and registration, which I hand over ever so politely.  He then asks me "So, what are you doing on the road this fine evening?"  I look over to him with a rather dazed expression, I'm sure.  Fine evening?  It's morning, geez!  So I say's to this brilliant fine upstanding young man "It's morning, not evening and I'm on my way to work."

"Yes, well, I'm just finishing my shift, so to me it's still evening, or if you will, night.  It won't be morning for me for several hours yet."  he say's to me.  Yeah, I can understand that, sort of.  Doesn't mean you have to show your stupidity by refusing to acknowledge the time of day!  Continuing, he say's to me, "Well, there is no business open at this time of day, so where are you going?"

Like, really, how dumb can ya get?  "I'm on my way to work, just like I told you, I work in the hotel right across the street.  I was in the process of parking when you pulled me over!" I lower my gaze just enough so I can roll my eyes without him noticing.  

Cop from cruiser #2 comes over. "Got a problem here?" Cop #1 says "She's not being overly cooperative answering my questions, but not much of a problem." Really people, I did answer his questions, and I still don't know why I had been pulled over!

Cop #1 tells Cop #2 all that had been discussed up to that point.  When he's done, I politely interupt saying "Excuse me, but I will be late for work if we don't finish up here soon, can you at least tell me why you pulled me over?"  #1 says  " First I would like to know how you expect to get into a locked hotel" Where's a video camera when you need one?  This should be on Candid Camera or something! "Well officer," says I, "I suppose I would have to use my keys for the building." No reply, no comment, nada, zip, zilch for that comeback of mine.

"Well, do you realize that before I flashed my lights at you, you were going a little less than 40 in a 50 zone?"  Oh geez, I was slowing down to park, no I hadn't realized!  (That's what I should have said, but in fact I said) "Yes, sir, like I told you, I was about to park when you pulled me over.  I was slowing down so that I could!" "Don't get wise with him Miss" Say's #2, that was being wise, and my previous comment wasn't?  Now I rolled my eyes for them to see it, but both missed it, go figure!

#1 was a little pink at this point, "You also failed to use your blinker at your last turn, I do believe that it's not working." "Well officer, being the weekend, there are no repair shops open.  I'll get it looked at as soon as I'm able on Monday, will that be ok?" "That will be fine, consider this a warning though, and I'll check to see that it's been done!"  

"Are you done with me then?  I can get in to work now, right?" "Yes miss," says #1 "That'll be fine." "One more thing first though officer, do you think I could have my drivers and registration back please? I'd hate to be pulled over on my way home and not be able to supply those!" "Oh, yes, yes, I forgot, here!"

With my possessions returned to me, I walk to the hotel, and unlock the door.  As I was walking in, #2 started saying something, but it was lost in my re-locking of the door once I was inside.  I saw him coming towards the hotel, but I ignored him and went to the restaurant door and unlocked it, went in and relocked it.    I heard him bang on the hotel door to get my attention, but I figured that I'd had enough of these clowns and I had been delayed long enough.  I did have work to do after all, so instead of going back outside, I turned on the griddles, got out the bacon, sausages and hashbrowns that needed preping, got out the ingredients I needed to make pancakes and set to work.  I never did get my taillights checked, nor did I ever hear from either of those cops again.


I failed to mention that although #1 had taken my drivers and registration, he hadn't written down a thing.  Not a bit of the information he needed in order to check up on me had been written down, that's probably why #2 had followed me to the hotel and had been trying to get my attention!


  1. omg, it almost sounds creepy skye, like, what in the hell did they really want?

    There has been news recently about local cops here getting "favours" from women in exchange for not writing tickets etc.

    I should say demanding favours.

    sick, using their authority to abuse women!

  2. Yes Penny, that is sick alright. Typical, and something that's happened for years, but definitely sick. Cops have always and will always abuse their authority, it's just escalating to match the crime is all.

    However, that said, these 2 guys were just so dumb, that I'm sure that wasn't on their minds. They're not allowed to pull anyone over without a back-up anymore, and #1 was embarrassed for pulling me over for absolutely no reason.

    Because of all the partying going on over the weekend, he thought I was drunk and could get his quota of drunk drivers for the night. I totally confused him by having a legitimate reason for being on the road and driving so slowly at that particular point.

    I have another story on the stupidity of authority figures. I think I'll post it later today or perhaps tomorrow. Only this one is about the firedepartment. Let's just say I'd hate for my house to ever catch fire!

  3. oh, yes, the quota for drunks, the quota for seat belts,

    did you hear the news story about the parent arrested for smoking in the car with their minor child present?

    In ON?

    The kid, who was like 16 or 17 yrs old get's out of the car when Dad stopped and lights a ciggie!

    Bet he got the fine still.
    makin' money is the name of the game.

  4. No Penny, I hadn't heard about that! First they tax the hell out of the cigarettes, then they go and make it illegal to smoke around minors, go figure. They certainly want their pound of flesh from smokers, don't they?

    I'm glad they don't have that law here in Manitoba, but it's coming :(

  5. Penn in the town where I grew up here in southern Manitoba and neighboring towns as well the deal was to take the town drunk or drunks and instead of putting him or them on welfare, they gave him or them a badge and a gun,

    Times have not changed much. I don’t think that so much as one of the local doughnut brigade has so much as a grade twelve education. But then again being educated or even moderately intelligent is not a prerequisite.

    Now it takes three squad cars filled with apes to pull over a woman for a taillight check. It is truly to weep.

  6. It's good that it didn't escalate Skye - cops can be very dangerous people to be around. Hairtrigger and all that.

    Speaking of cops getting 'favours', years ago a friend of mine was basically stalked by this one particular dude. He'd pull her over everywhere and ask for dates. It took almost a year for her to get it too stop. That was creepy.

    As for me, I got mugged one night and the cop who drove me home after being at the police station, couldn't keep his bloody hand off my knee.



  7. Amen to that, Mags, cops really are creepy pigs!

    I suppose I am lucky that it didn't escalate, and I'm not naive enough to think that I could handle the two of them, but somehow, I knew it wouldn't get that bad.

    To be completely honest, they looked too tired to be able to take a lolipop from a baby.

    Police in the real world are certainly not what is portrayed on most cop shows. Take all the CSI's and Law & Order's for example. There, the majority of the cops are in great shape, buff and can run forever chasing down a perp. In the real world however, they're fat, overindulged, lazy and stupid (at least around here they are). It's not too terribly hard to get around them!

  8. Hey thanks for stopping by, glad you enjoyed the hamster post.

    I loved this cop stuff, it's just like in the movies...

  9. Welcome to my blogging home, Mo.Stone. I'm glad you enjoyed the posts, thanks for such a quick return visit! :)

  10. And the saddest part is that it took two of them to do what amounted to "nothing" lol

  11. And that Nikki, is exactly and precisely why I wrote this post! :D

    Welcome to my blogger home! :)


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