Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Fonetic Fun...

It has often been pointed out that communication would be simpler if English spelling were not so unnecessarily difficult; for example, cough, plough, rough, through, and thorough. A gradual program of changes would wipe out these anomalies.

In the first year, 's' would be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly sivil servants in a sities would reseive this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replased by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but keyboards kould be made with one less letter. And English would look more like German.

There would be growing enthusiasm when, in the sekond year, it was announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty percent shorter to print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double leters, whish have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

We would all agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop them and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began, and people would be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is , after al, half a 'w'.

Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords kontaining' ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer dombinations of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis, and everivun vud find it ezi to understand etsh ozer.


I had found that little article in a Readers Digest Magazine quite some time ago. Here's another one gotten from the same place.  I have always been fascinated by English, and will therefore probably bore you with more tidbits about the language ;)  By the way, why is Phonetic not spelled phonetically?


Eye Halve A Spelling Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no 
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown

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